TGP 105 - Basic Catering for the Hopeless
by DragonMaster65
Summary: The Party Down AU that no one asked for! Eleanor is staggering through her work life as a caterer, hating everything. It's a lot easier to hate everything when you've got a buddy. [Eleanor x Trevor] [TGPThursdays]


**A/N:** **If you're not familiar with Party Down, the key points are that they're a catering agency. A terrible one. Half the team is incompetent and the other half is apathetic. Also, fun fact, Kristen Bell and Adam Scott were both on it and dated in the show for a little while!**

* * *

Eleanor Shellstrop stared at the steering wheel of her car. Just five more seconds. Four. Three. Two.

Slam! She dragged her eyes to glare at her far-too-peppy coworker. Jason bounced on his heels, his bow tie dangling around his neck. "Yo Ellie! Team Leader wants us inside stat," he boomed. Twisting her head forward again, she nodded. It was enough to get him to leave her alone.

Attempt number two at leaving the car. She had to start over again. List all the reasons why she had given up on her past hopes of making it as anything other than a caterer. Remind herself that there was no way she could make rent without taking this stupid Saturday night gig. Count down from five.

Ugh, what a drag. Eleanor slumped out from her car and grabbed her dress shirt from the back. Technically it was her backup shirt. The washing machines in her building had decided to only function half of the time. Having clean underwear had won out over her work clothes when it would have involved walking up and down the stairs an extra time to get more change.

Tonight's event was in a literal mansion. As in columns by the front door, caterers enter through the separate back driveway for staff only _mansion._ The company van was parked as close to the kitchen door as possible. Kicking it in the tires was Eleanor's only retribution that she could exact and even that felt like too much effort. Slinking into the kitchen, she idly hoped that her boss was busy upselling the client on their level of professionalism to expect.

"Eleanor, you're five minutes late. That's a TDN," Tahani quipped. She appeared out of nowhere, her ever-present clipboard under one arm.

Hooking her shirt hanger on one of the metal shelves, Eleanor rounded on her boss. "Wait, I know this one. Totally Dope No-big-deal," she retorted. "That sounds about right."

Watching Tahani's perfectly made up lips drop into an aghast expression was always worthwhile. "I told everyone to read over the materials and memorize the TDs and TDNs: Tahani Dos and Do Nots," she insisted.

Everyone was spared from the wry comment that Eleanor was winding up to deliver by Chidi staggering into the kitchen. Overburdened with one box too many of wine, Tahani waved frantically for Eleanor to help him. After stacking the boxes on the shelf, the moment was gone to keep riffing on Tahani's over-the-top management techniques.

Janet and Jason made doe-eyes at one another as they prepared the hors d'oeuvre plates. Well, Janet at least prepared the plates. Jason's attempts lead to a great many uneven or crooked vegetables and cheeses that had to be trimmed before Tahani would ever allow them to be seen by a guest. Eleanor could have helped them out, but, well, that would have required her to _care_ about appetizer symmetry. Moving back and forth between the company van and the kitchen door bringing one box or bottle of liquor at a time was a far better use of her time.

There were fireworks planned. Not ones that Party Down were in charge of, thank god; Jason would have tried to do something horrible like set one off in his pants, Eleanor was certain. But there was still the matter of scheduling the changeover from the dinner buffet to dessert during the display. "Seamless course transition" was the key phrase of the night. Eleanor had nodded blankly while Tahani rambled on about exactly what that meant.

Before too long Eleanor had to don her pressed white shirt and princess pink bow tie. There was only so much prep time before the event wound up to begin. Tahani hovered over every detail in the ballroom that the food was being set up in, adjusting chafing dishes by half inches. When she was done with that, she focused in on the drape of the "Happy Retirement, Michael!" banners that Eleanor had been press ganged into setting up.

"You made them too droopy," Tahani chided. It was difficult to stop resenting the fact that the Team Leader didn't need to stand on the top step of the ladder to adjust where the corners were fastened. So, Eleanor didn't bother.

Clicking her tongue, Eleanor pointed to the opposite end of the hall. "I hung it exactly the same way as the big one over there," she said. "And I know that one's got the TD stamp of approval: you put it up."

"That's not a TD. Did you even read the memo?" Tahani snapped. Still, her focus was tweaking the banner for another moment until they were joined by a tall, white haired man.

He bounced on his toes, his smile a hint too wide to be as personable as it presented itself. "Ah, Tahani? Is everything going to be alright in time? I know that I gave you the schedule and you said that it would be fine, but I can't help but notice that the food dishes are still empty. Guests will be arriving any minute. We can't have an empty bar _and_ empty stomachs," he said.

Eleanor turned on her heel. Dealing with the clients was Tahani's job. If Eleanor didn't have a tray in her hand, she didn't have to bother pretending to be polite. Besides, she wanted to grab the scraps from the kitchen before she had to start smiling at all this rich guy's friends.

Tahani slipped on the bottom step of the ladder, but Eleanor had a feeling that she'd emerge with a smile on her face regardless. "I assure you, Michael, that we at Party Down catering will have both your drinks and your food out in a timely fashion," Tahani said quickly. Hearing the sounds of high heels clicking intently behind her, Eleanor upped her own steps. She didn't want to be told -

"Stop hovering and go help get the bar set up," Tahani hissed out of the corner of her mouth as she breezed by. Damn giraffe legs. There were so many shit tasks that Eleanor would have avoided if her boss hadn't been an actual Amazon.

* * *

"Circulate!"

"Smile, please!"

"This is why we don't put out the tip jar. Wipe the mustard off of your chin and see if you can't get the clients to enjoy the food they paid for."

Tahani drove their team like they were a sled dog team but kept forgetting they were a shitty sled manned by five different breeds of dog. Everyone tried to run at full speed, but it was a hell of a lot harder for the scotty dog than it was for the mastiffs. Eleanor liked to think that she was a mastiff. She could weave through the crowd with a full sized tray, unlike Jason who more often than not dropped half the food on the floor. If he didn't have Janet covering for him by under-filling his trays, he would have earned three strikes from Tahani every night.

Well, at least before they switched from strikes to the new alphabet soup. "Do we have a limit of TDNs we can get or is that not how it works?" Eleanor asked Tahani. Her boss was supervising the buffet, her eyes narrowing when someone took too many chicken dumplings. The comment didn't even earn her a sigh; she'd have to try harder next time.

"Go circulate. And smile. Good lord, they're trying to celebrate the end of a man's career, not his life," Tahani huffed.

Eleanor waited until she was a few steps away to mock Tahani under her breath. One of the guests glared at her and it was only by the grace of the two shots of vodka Eleanor had snuck between appetizers that she didn't stick her tongue out at him, too. When she collected more than a single drink order, Eleanor began her loop back to the bar. As she handed off the orders Trevor groaned and rolled his eyes. More so than usual, that was.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Eleanor asked. She leaned over the bar to grab his bottle of Svedka.

Trevor didn't even attempt to evenly distribute the wine in the glasses. He went right on to the mixed drink on Eleanor's list despite the clearly underfilled glass on the tray. "I know the guy hosting the thing tonight," Trevor spat. He dropped each ice cube individually into the shaker before finally moving on to the liquor.

"And?" Eleanor pressed. She didn't care one way or the other about Trevor's issues. There was just only so long that she could entertain herself solely by counting the number of times that Chidi tried to tell someone to pass on the non-free-range deviled eggs.

"I used to work at his company. Now I don't," Trevor said simply. He half heartedly poured the drink mixture from one shaker tin to another, not actually bothering to shake the end product.

Lifting an eyebrow, Eleanor downed her stolen shot of vodka. "That blows. Now you're catering his party and he's getting a retirement package," she commented.

He sent her a withering look. "I had no idea from all the 'happy retirement' signs. Great job with those by the way. Can't believe five pieces of printed plastic took you an hour to set up," Trevor drawled. He finally finished the mixed drink, dropping it on the tray without a second glance. "There. Now you can go get us a bunch of tips with that winning smile of yours."

"Cute," Eleanor retorted. "I will when you will." She jutted her chin at his empty bowl before taking her tray of drinks. Trevor's attitude didn't phase her. Nothing could make her care more or less about any one event for this stupid job. Scratch that. Nothing would ever make her care more about an event, but plenty of things could challenge her to give even less of a fuck.

* * *

Eleanor ducked out to the van a few minutes before the stupid firework course changeover was due. Under the guise of getting more napkins for the tables, of course. In reality, there was a backup box of booze that she'd "forgotten" to unload earlier in the day. She'd wedged the box between the driver's seat and the pedals to keep it out of anyone's eyeline.

Really, she should have felt bad about bailing on her circulating duties, but since there was only one bar open Chidi was a third hand on deck to serve. Eleanor snorted as she eyed the manor in front of her. Yeah, they really looked like they couldn't have swung for the second bar deposit. They would have paid for the same amount of booze. Just Eleanor would have had the option to go to Chidi for her orders instead of putting up with Trevor's sullen mood.

"Why are you the one sulking out here?" Speak of the goddamn devil, here was the bartender to wreck Eleanor's five minutes of silence. He pulled out a cigarette and leaned against the open driver's side door to eye her.

Eleanor took another swig of her stolen bottle of vodka rather than answer right away. Trevor reached for the bottle and offered his cigarette in exchange. "I'd rather be able to breathe when I'm sixty," Eleanor spat back. Still, she relinquished the bottle to him. "And I'm not sulking. I just needed a breather."

"What, did you also have to make small talk with people who knew you when you were on the road to being a successful investment banker?" he retorted. His tone didn't share the vitriol of earlier though. Trevor sounded tired.

"You went from that to this shit job?" Eleanor blurted out. She hadn't asked before what had lead him to their pink bow tied clan, assuming him to be an artsy fuck up like Jason or hiding some past neurosis like Chidi. It hadn't occurred to her that he could have been just a regular old screw up like herself.

He nodded slowly, staring down at his feet. "I could'of had it all. But I lost out to that moron and his innovative approaches. Big boss decided to keep him and cut out us underwhelming people," Trevor explained. The bottle glinted in his hand as he swallowed another mouthful.

"Please tell me you've at least spat in his drinks," Eleanor said. She hopped up onto the driver's seat to lean against the center console. When he shook his head she blinked in surprise. "Did you forget how to be petty? Who are you and what have you done with the real Trevor?"

"It doesn't matter what I do now. He's already won and Shawn's never going to hire me back." Trevor barked out a dry laugh and passed the vodka back to Eleanor. After taking another draw of his cigarette he ground out the rest under his heel. "This job felt temporary up until now. Just something to do while I figured out my master plan to get back into their good graces," he said.

He turned to look at Eleanor and she could see how glassy his eyes were in the orange light that spilled out from the van. This wasn't his first hit to the bottle of the night. Not that it was Eleanor's, either, but still. She wasn't judging herself right now. Trevor's mouth twisted in a rueful smile. "I realized something tonight though. They had no problem ordering their stupid gin and tonics from me," he sighed.

Eleanor waited for him to continue and realized that he had stopped completely. "You're a bartender though," she said. "How was that meaningful that they just ordered drinks from you?" The van's dome light clicked off, leaving them in near darkness.

"Because they didn't even realize it was a thing, that I was the guy they'd worked with before. Even the ones that recognized me didn't give a shit about it. I didn't even register on their radar," Trevor explained, throwing one hand in the air.

This was never the situation that Eleanor thought she'd be in. Comforting another human being as they dealt with a sudden shift in their perspective of life? No, no. Eleanor scoffed at heart-to-hearts. "That's their problem, dude," Eleanor offered. "And it's probably a good thing that you realized that you're not going to just be coasting back into your old job."

His head dropped rather than turned to look at her. "Why?" Trevor asked. He wasn't just going to nod and accept her bullshit non-advice like any normal half-wasted person would. Eleanor opened her mouth to spew some fresh new nonsense but her ears caught the sound of the kitchen door opening.

Some small fragment of luck remained in the world as Eleanor realized they weren't visible from the doorway. Tahani called out both their names, sounding irritated. Trevor started to groan, but Eleanor slapped one hand over his mouth.

"Shut up!" she hissed. Grabbing his wrist, she scrambled over the center console and dragged Trevor into the van with her. She whispered for him to shut the door behind him. It closed with a dull click as Trevor failed to yank it hard enough to properly set closed. Still, they had avoided Tahani.

"Do you really want to go back in there to serve those stuck up bastards their overpriced sponge cake? Cause that's what Tahani's going to make us do," Eleanor murmured. The back windows of the van weren't see-through, covered in the jaunty Party Down logo wrap. Never had Eleanor so appreciated the van.

Their quick escape had forced new life into the pair. Eleanor turned from staring at the dark rear back to Trevor. Their eyes locked and held for five seconds too long. "So," Trevor said. His breath still smelled of nicotine and vodka. Eleanor knew hers couldn't be much better.

"If I had known you were open to nipping out to the van, I would have made Chidi cover me before today," he teased.

Eleanor wanted to lean away and tell him where he could shove his thoughts about where this was about to. She also really, really wanted to avoid precision buffet swapping. And a small part of her felt just an ounce bad for Trevor. It was enough for her to hesitate, allowing Trevor enough time to lean over the center console and murmur temptations directly in her ear. For the record, that move should have been illegal, especially when paired with two single fingers trailing along her inner thigh.

"This isn't going to be a thing," Eleanor declared before tugging off his bow tie. She heard the crack of the fireworks starting over the back lawn. "Don't go getting any ideas otherwise."

Just five more minutes. Then they would have to go back inside.


End file.
